I’ve not watched Columbo — in which Peter Falk’s eponymous, crumpled Lieutenant outwits murderers the viewer has watched commit and then cover up their crimes — in years, and would probably have gone years more but for stumbling over two references in a week to ‘Any Old Port in a Storm’ (1973) apparently being the very pinnacle of the long-running series. So, let’s take a look.
Our murderer this time around is winemaker Adrian Carsini (Donald Pleasence, a.k.a. The Best Blofeld), running the family vineyard owned by his younger half-brother Rick (Gary Conway) to great professional acclaim but little in the way of profit. Just as Adrian is told of an honour to be bestowed upon him by a professional body, Rick visits with two pieces of news: first, he’s getting married for the fourth time, and second he is going to sell the vineyard to a profitable company so that he can use the income to fund his extravagant lifestyle. So Adrian does the sensible thing and coshes Rick over the head before hiding the body and returning to his meeting.
One of the strengths of Columbo was the way it humanised its killers — following in the footsteps of the likes of R. Austin Freeman and Freeman Wills Crofts, whose own inverted mysteries were often at great pains to make the reader understand the difficult situations people faced before being almost forced to resort to this most horrible of actions. Carsini is invested with Pleasence’s usual underplaying, giving him both a sly sense of humour (“While the rest of you were savouring the delicate bouquet, I was peeking at the label.”) and a bubbling sense of the arrogance that made murder the way he chose to extricate himself from difficulty (“Nobody really needs a $5,000 bottle of wine…I just don’t want anybody else to have it.”). He’s great, of course, but then I don’t ever remember a guest star murderer doing a bad job in this show (and the quality of actors attracted to such roles speaks volumes about the opportunities the scripts provided).
The pattern of events is clearly established by this third season, with the staging of Rick’s death left to admirably minimalist visual storytelling which trusts the audience to fill in certain gaps (one minute the body is in a car, the next it’s…somewhere else without the need to show process by which this displacement was achieved). Indeed, there’s a lot of show rather than tell in this, such as the moment when Rick’s fiancée (Joyce Jillson) is informed of his death, and it’s lovely to revisit such gloriously old-school methods. The long takes of mundane actions, like a man making a telephone call or someone driving a car out of a garage, drive home the quotidian nature of the storytelling and, I’d argue, enhance the viewer’s engagement in events precisely because of how real and familiar it makes these moments feel.
Cue, then, our detective, who, as far as I can tell, originally as no reason to look into Rick’s death — surely someone on the Homicide desk would be kept busy with actual murders, rather than have time to sniff around possible suspicious snuffings out — and who, through gradually-accrued tiny pointers (“Did it rain last Tuesday?”) begins, of course, to suspect foul play. In true style, murderer and detective don’t actually share the screen until almost halfway through this 95 minute story, and Falk is of course superb in his little asides (“My handwriting is so bad, sometimes I think I should have been a doctor.”) as he gradually wears on Adrian and the truth begins to creep out.
Is this, though, really the best episode ever produced in this series? Certainly the prestige wine industry plays into things in a couple of increasingly important ways, but the case is hardly the most baffling, nor the method adopted by Carsini to cover his tracks especially ingenious or memorable. My viewing of Columbo has, as I say, been in repose for a couple of decades, but even now I recall the use of electric blankets, full-face photographs, telephone dialling tones, and even unsmoked cigarettes as truly (ahem) arresting revelations which tripped up murderers high on their own hubris. Here, if I’m perfectly honest, I don’t even understand why Carsini performed the action (rot13: gheavat bss gur pyvzngr pbageby naq qruhzvqvsvre) which leads to his capture. It wouldn’t make any difference, surely, given how the body is later disposed. And that alone leaves an odd taste (forgive the pun…).
True, a bit of character psychology plays an interesting role in the last ten minutes, but to get the most out of this it really feels like that card should have been played at least 30 minutes earlier (resulting, no doubt, in another murder and then necessitating more cat-and-mousery). The final moment between Columbo and Carsini is delightful, and it speaks volumes that both characters are so consistently written right the way up to the end — the resigned intelligence, the sense of relief, that Pleasence communicates is magnificently done — but little moments do not a great show make on their own. Feel free to tell me why I’m wrong, but if this is the very best Columbo has to offer then I’m not exactly champing at the bit to return any time soon.
The Invisible Event 
Looking forward to revisiting this or a Jack Cassidy one…apparently Colombo is going through a renaissance among the younger generations here in the States. (Leo Penn is, of course, father of Sean, Michael, and the departed Chris.)
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I didn’t realise Michael Penn was related to Sean and Chris. Huh, that was not what I was expecting to take away from this post 🙂
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This episode is often mentioned as one of Peter Falk’s favorites and as a fan favorite, but it’s never been one of my favorites so I personally don’t believe that it’s the best Columbo has to offer. This one to me is just all right. My favorite episode of all might be By Dawn’s Early Light. Overall, I think season 4 is the best.
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Yes, to By Dawn’s Early Light. Columbo in a military-school barracks, and the first (and best IMO) of Patrick McGoohan’s appearances as the killer.
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The quality of the guest stars really was something else, wasn’t it? McGoohan was always wonderful, and seeing him in full homicidal mode will no doubt be a treat – especially as I’ve learned today that he did it more than once…!
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Good to know that I’m not missing the point by an Olympic distance again, and that someone else feels this is solidly fine. Thanks for the recommendation, I’ll put By Dawn’s Early Light on the list and try to get to it before too long.
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It’s my recollection that most of the praise I’ve read for Any Old Port in a Storm has centered on the interactions between Columbo and Carsini, as opposed to the mystery plot itself. To be fair, the dynamic between Columbo and the killer as they do their catch-me-if-you-can dance was a significant element of the series’ attraction. Sometimes that dynamic was hostile, sometimes it was friendly. How the viewer responds to that chemistry in any given episode is part of their selection of their favorites and not so favorites.
But certainly the clues themselves and how Columbo spots them are very important. I haven’t seen Blueprint for Murder mentioned in any “best episodes” lists, but it contains one of my favorite Columbo clues ever.
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Hiya Jim, as you probably know Columbo stories in the 1970s come in two basic varieties: those that run 74 minutes (i.e. 90 with ads) and 96 minutes (2 hours with ads). This episode is a really good one, especially among the 96-minute entries, which everyone agrees are too long and often feel a bit padded (because, well, they are). You end up having great sympathy for Carsini and the way his life unravels. It doesn’t appear in my top 10 but probably would appear in my top 12 😆. My top 10 can be found here, which priviliges the 74-minute episodes but includes 3 really strong examples from the later series where all episodes are made for a 2-hour slot and suffer accordingly:
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How did I miss this listing before?!?
In fairness, as I say, I’ve not watched the show in easily 20+ years, and my own blog wasn’t even a glint in the internet’s eye when you posted this, so thanks for bringing it to my attention. Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do…
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I am a massive fan, so everything I say should probably be taken with several packets of sodium chloride. I should also add that I seriously disagree with most of the episode rankings at the aforementioned Columbophile website, a resource I do however greatly enjoy. The FreeVee streaming channel (from Amazon) offers impressive looking HD versions of the entire 70s show without subscription (there are a few ads but not many). You should pop round for some pasta and a Columbo – the full Italian experience (in Northolt) 😁
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Yeah, I felt this was over-sold as the best as well. My favourite is Bye-Bye Sky High IQ but I don’t think that’s the best either, I just love the main performance. That tends to be what makes people choose an episode as their “best” with Columbo, rather than the plotting.
In terms of a tricky plot or something like that, the very next episode, Candidate for Crime, is stronger in that regard. I also like A Friend in Deed.
The electric blanket one is Suitable for Framing, which is an early favourite too.
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Again, it’s a relief of sorts to know that I haven’t missed the point of this completely, and that someone with clearly more experience of the show could pick others as highlights.
I know taste is subjective and all, but my memories are of some superbly complex and devious plots, and this oe was just…fine. I mean, I’m still not sure what some of the actions in the episode mean: why does the body have baskets on its head when Carsini returns to it? And why does he turn off the temperature controls when hiding the body in the first place? It’s all a little too vague for my liking, and Columbo was better than that.
Expect further investigations in due course…
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I have been watching Columbo off and on for several months now but this is one I haven’t gotten around to despite the good notices it has received. I think, mainly, those reviews owe something to the fact that there is more of a rapport between murderer and Columbo than usual; a mutual admiration for each other than mere cop and criminal.
In terms of other episodes, the inaugural episode – MURDER BY THE BOOK – is a stylish highlight directed by a very young Steven Spielberg. This blog does a great job of breaking down each episode and it’s worth a read: https://columbophile.com/
Also, the best Blofeld? I think Telly Savalas would like a word?
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We all know the best Blofeld was Athony Dawson 😁
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You’re not wrong…
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He certainly had lovely hands…
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🤣
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I remember watching Murder by the Book because of Spielberg’s involvement, and it’s an enjoyable time without really fully exploiting the best of the setup — as is fair to expect from a debut.
Thanks for the Columbophile link; I have a feeling I’ll be spending a lot of time there in the forseeable future, as I try to navigate where to go next in my further watching.
And, look, Telly Savalas didn’t play Blofeld; Telly Savalas played Tey Savalas. Hell, I’d take Charles Gray over Telly Savalas 🙂
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Unless I’m mistaken, one of those references to “Any Old Port in a Storm” being the best episode might be a bit of a miscommunication. I assume you’re referencing RUDetection’s Syllabus of Deductive Fiction, in which Alexander refers to this episode as “The Columbo Episode”. I’ll take the blame for that, as that is one of the handful of instances in which Alexander (unfamiliar with the material) used my own wording in the Syllabus (see the Furuhata and Roger Ormerod sections, too :P)
When I told him that AOPiaS is “The Columbo Episode”, I was referring more to its popularity and influence in the broader Columbo community, since I felt like that was probably more important than pitching my (frankly) random ass favorite episodes. If you want truly great Columbo episodes, my personal favorites (from when I watched the show ages ago) are “The Bye-Bye Sky High I.Q. Murder Case” and “A Stitch in Crime”. I also recommend you watch Furuhata Ninzaburou, which is a Columbo-inspired Japanese mystery drama and it contains four or five of my favorite inverted mysteries ever conceived, particularly (sorry for this, they have no official English titles)
Season 1 Episode 5
Season 1 Episode 7
Season 2 Episode 1
Season 2 Episode 8
and Season 2 Episode 9!
That being said, there’s still plenty of good and great episodes besides, special honorable mentions to Season 1 Episode 1, Season 1 Episode 4, Season 1 Episode 11, season 2 episode 2, season 2 episode 3, and season 3 episode 2!
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Always wanted to watch some Furuhata Ninzaburou since I first saw Ho-Ling post about it. Shame it doesn’t seem to be easily available.
Glad there are other Bye-Bye Sky High IQ fans out there…
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They’re all available on the Myasiantv website, with Seasons 1, 2, and 4 having phenomenal subtitles. Season 3’s subtitles are less phenomenal, but I have corrected versions on my computer I can share with you over e-mail too!
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Thanks for the advice 🙂
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You are mistaken, but that’s okay — it would have made three references, and that really would have been impossible to ignore 🙂
And, yes, I really do need to watch some Furuhata Ninzaburou based on your recommendations. Man, so much stuff and only so many hours in the week.
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As soon as I finally work up the nerve to actually write anything again, you should anticipate reviews of Season 2 of Furuhata incoming. :^)
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I am a Columbo fan and this episode indeed is excellent. My favourite though is “Try and Catch Me” (Series 7, Episode 1) with Columbo pitted against the brilliant Ruth Gordon, who plays a popular author of mystery fiction.
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All grist to the mill — many thanks. I knew the internet hive mind wouldn’t let me down 🙂
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I think its popularity is mostly down to Donald Pleasence, combined with the gotcha being satisfying and kind of unique in the series. I feel people overlook many plot holes, and also are weirdly sympathetic towards Carsini, who murders his own brother for purely economic reasons.
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That aspect of it has always felt a bit strange to me. This was an ugly murder, to knock a relative unconscious and leave him to slowly asphyxiate.
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I do like, however, that it’s a spontaneous murder, rather than one which has been put together by the criminal for months or weeks in advance. It’s always pleasing seeing plans go wrong, and perhaps more pleasing when those months of planning are unpick easily, but I think Carsini is a more sympathetic character because he lashes out in a moment of rage.
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Good point, the vast majority of Columbo murders are premeditated but there are a few exceptions, Lovely but Lethal and Death Lends a Hand along with this one.
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